Tuesday, December 14, 2004


Women with Claws

I visited my friends in Lancaster over the weekend. I've been going up there since 1998, visiting, playing with the kids, joining in the life of this family and watching what they do. They're neat people. Mauricio is a co-worker, which is how I met them. He and I would sit in the Control Center on quiet days and design things.

Of all the women I know, his wife Jennifer is the hardest on herself. As soon as she makes a mistake the claws come out and she rakes herself. Men do this in other ways. They become like each other in stereotyped behaviors. Women strive to tear themselves apart, and I don't know why.

I wish I could tell Jennifer that she doesn't need to be so hard on herself. If she'd loosen up her life would go just as well, but she'd have more energy and be more creative. I know from experience that this habit is very hard to break; the only reason I recognized it is that the Holy Spirit kept showing me, kept forcing me to look at it, until I finally decided that His was is better. I wish I could pour out God's blessing onto her, and Kim, and Lu, and Carol, and Suzie, and Sandra.

Stop the judgment, please. You don't need it. It doesn't help. Only God can judge, and He is very kind in how He does it. He never just hands down open-ended judgment. He always points out what is wrong, why it's wrong, and what He will do about it if given a chance.

Sheathe your claws, please. You can't grow while tearing yourself apart.

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