Wednesday, January 12, 2005
"My thought is this: It seems to me that as I give Him more control and let Him garden me however He wants that I find more of who I really am, not less. The me that falls away with the cuts of His gardeners shears are the pieces that were grafted in my hurt, lies, and the world. The stuff He's nurturing is the real me--the inside person He created me to be."
I think she has come squarely onto a thought that has been trying to get through to me. I was born with certain capabilities but in response to the world in which I grew up I made major changes. Sort of like starting with a BMW and putting on all kinds of other pieces to make it work and look like a Yugo.
God has taken it as his job to clear away all of my reconstructions and make me back into the person he made. What happens, though, if in the process of being turned back into a BMW all I want to do is park it, chock the wheels and go look for another used Yugo? Stop this thing. I want to get out.