Saturday, July 15, 2006
On Being Human
It takes a lot more than simply opening the door to get out of jail, it seems. Such as walking out there, and staying out there. Any ex-con has a hard time making the transition to life outside the Big House. This... is supposed to be joyful? Why isn't freedom more fun?
Normally a child learns how to be human as he grows up. They seem to be resilient. As I learn this all I can think about is what happens if I fail. You can't fail in prison: life is dictated, no decisions, a level so low that falling off is no big deal. Falling only hurts when you're up high.
Nobody fits a standard mold, but that doesn't keep human systems from trying to force people in there for the sake of convenience. We get used to it, and think that's the way all things work. If it isn't a duck, make it quack and walk like a duck, and it will be a de facto duck. Eventually you'll get used to it, and think that's the norm. This is a crime against human beings.
I guess I'm being de-quacked. I don't know what I am. I'm not the duck I thought I was but right now I'd rather quack than quake. That's no longer an option. God's hand leads only forward.