Last Exit Before Oblivion

God brings light. Shining in the darkness. What happens to those whose survival depends on skulking in dim shadows? Shadows hide the tender, the soft, the fragile from the harsh examination and withering effects of the hot searchlight. Cool damp shade is the place to be.

God is light. Those who would live with him must make some sort of accommodation with that light. Honesty, humility (in its real sense of knowing the truth and not expanding it), but what else might be hiding in the shadows? What kind of person might I be if I could show everything to God?

People's frequent response to the strange is to laugh, especially if the crowd of commoners is on their side. Mob versus Larry. I seek the shadows, alone. God shines his light and I flinch. Light is hot, dry, blasting, and given a choice between Junkyard Dog and God, I go for protection automatically.

What if I'm wrong about this? What if it's my own assumption about what God wants to do that makes me fear him? What if his light is actually gentle... sent for the sake of life, not to destroy... and what if, even more radical, he's not there to laugh at what His light shows but to help me see what I'm doing and then more miraculous yet, help me to change it?

I do have some experience with this kind of thing. Not everyone is ready to laugh. Some accept who I am, but still I wonder if they see the even better hidden things behind what they've already seen, what then? Still, acceptance? I doubt it.

The time is coming, however. God may soften his light but he never stops shining. I wonder what kind of world we'd have if people allowed their own light to shine instead of all the crippling we endure. The brighter you shine the more of a target you are.

There is a depth and roundness to the idea of dying to self that the usual guilt-ridden superficial homilies and devotionals just don't get into. New Age thinkers tend to call it baggage. Whatever your metaphor, the core idea is dying to self... and then becoming a new self. People talk about the dying but not the living afterward, and how the two process run together. It's difficult but not impossible, when aided by the Holy Spirit. Step by step, down and up at the same time. Old assumptions die slowly.